Balance

A topic that has come up repeatedly over the past few weeks is the inclination to hide from the truth.  When the truth hurts, or when we don't know how to deal with it, we tend to shove it in a corner and pray that God will deal with it while we look the other way.  At least that's what I did in this situation.

And yet there is some validity in looking the other way.  I tend to be a worrier.  When the recession hit, I had no idea how we were going to meet all of our financial obligations.  That uncertainty weighed very heavily on me.  And it lasted for months.  I had to force myself to think of other things and to find ways to get my mind off of the problems.  I found myself considering this question at the time - at what point does "getting your mind off of it" become avoidance or escape?  And at what point does examining your problems and searching for a solution become worry?

I've been asking similar questions over the past couple of weeks.  At what point does faith in God's provision become financial irresponsibility?  At what point does working hard to be financially responsible become neglect of family and being unavailable for God's purposes?  At what point does healthy rest and availability become laziness? 

At what point does hope become fantasy?  At what point does facing reality become despair? 

At what point does sadness become negativity and depression?  At what point does a positive attitude become denial?

At what point does forgiveness become enabling?  At what point does "tough love" become a tough heart?

Sometimes I feel like I am on multiple intersecting teeter totters and trying to keep my balance is exhausting.  Sometimes I feel like I am being too hopeful; other times I think I am being too negative.  I spend a lot of time on the "sad" side of the emotional seesaw, but I make plenty of sprints over to the "happy" side.  It's tiring, so I spend more time resting, which makes me feel lazy, and I wonder if I'm avoiding my responsibilities...

Balance, where are you? 

I suppose this will always be something I struggle with.  But I pray I do a better job of facing hard truths in the future.  It's not easy, but neither is avoidance.  I've got to find that healthy spot somewhere in the middle.